


M is for maturity... or Maternity.

by Nightheart



Category: Bleach
Genre: Childish naivete, Gen, Urujin firendship, where do babies come from?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-18
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-16 13:52:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightheart/pseuds/Nightheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had to happen sooner or later, at their tender age the question was bound to come up. The answer to the question of where do babies come from is one that should be handled with care. Too bad they live in the household of Kisuke Urahara.</p>
            </blockquote>





	M is for maturity... or Maternity.

 M is for Maturity... or maternity, whatever comes first.  
  
Ururu and Jinta looked down at the collection of items in front of them. Living in a shop should have made it easier to acquire sundries, but coincidentally the sorts of things they were looking for were not sold at the Urahara shop. A carton of one dozen eggs had been purchased by Ururu for the sake of the experiment, and Jinta had traveled to the nearest home and garden store to purchase a small watermelon, a flower pot and a small bag of fertilizer.  
  
"Do you really think this'll work?" Ururu wondered.  
  
Jinta, as usual, bristled a bit at the implication that there might be anything lacking in his sense or methodology (even though he was far from certain of it himself) and glowered at her. Ururu ducked her head down, but seemed incapable of taking the hint, or if she did, incapable of restraining herself from voicing the meat of her objections.  
  
"It's just that, the instructions weren't very specific..."  
  
Jinta knuckled her on the head and muttered  
  
"Stupid girl!" he growled. "How hard can it be?"  
  
"It just that..." she tried again  
  
"Look, if it were hard there wouldn't be all those tv shows about people having twenty-seven kids or whatever."  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Ururu asked.  
  
"How else are you gonna have yer stupid baby?" Jinta replied logically. "We cant let that stupid Sora Honjo show you up again with all her fancy toys and her stupid friends. Just think about the look on her face when you show up with a real baby where she's only got a stupid fake one!"  
  
"It's more than fake," Ururu murmured. "It's the most beautiful porcelain doll in the world. Her dad brought it to her all the way from France."  
  
"Whatever, it's still fake," Jinta maintained. "This baby is gonna be way way cooler than any stupid fake doll an' she'll never be able to laugh atcha again!"  
  
This was the only solution Jinta had been able to come up with for the dilemma he faced. Ururu had come home from playing at the house of one of the rich neighbor kids who had at last _deigned_ to allow her into thier exclusive set (kids could be cruel, they had only done it to show off and make fun of her) crying her little eyes out. Jinta had tried his best to console her (he had patted her back and said who cared about a bunch of dumb girls and thier stupid party _instead_ of hitting her on the head and calling her stupid). Jinta might hit her, and call her dumb, and make her do his chores, but he was the _only_ one he allowed to act that way towards her, anyone else even looking at her crosswise would be in for a fight courtesy of the red-haired little brawler. If it had been other kids, Jinta would have went back over there and beat them all up, but they were all _girls_ , and even a wild kid like Jinta wouldn't break one of the most cardinal rules in the guy code... Thou Shalt Not Hit a Girl. So, since revenge by beating was out of the question, he'd concocted a plan to show them up by making them jealous. Logically, the only thing that could be better than the most beutiful and expensive baby doll in the world (imported from paris) was to show up with a real baby all her own.  
  
"So how does it work?" Ururu asked.  
  
"Well he said that a man has ta put his seed in a woman's egg and it gets fertilized," Jinta said, cutting open the watermelon.

Their moocher houseguest had been remarkably reluctant to part with the details. First he'd tried to get out of it by pushing it off onto Kisuke or Yoruichi or Tessai, but the two canny urchins had already deemed that those three either wouldn't answer the question or (in the case of Tessai) would make such a huge noise about it the answer wouldn't be worth getting. Renji could normally be bribed with snacks or food but had been strangely persistant on this one, it had finally taken Ururu putting on the waterworks to make him cave. Seemed he had a soft spot for her. They got thier answer but it had been far from complete and it seemed a number particular details might be missing, but they felt they had the main gist of the matter.  
  
"Here, hold this," he said, handing her one of the eggs out of the carton. "That's yours so don't drop it."  
  
They had each made thier purchases separately because the instructions they'd received, vague as they were, had specified that the eggs had to belong to the woman and the seed belonged to the man.  
  
"How are we supposed to get the seeds in there without breaking the eggs?" Ururu wondered.  
  
Jinta paused.  
  
"Maybe if we crack it open and put it in the pot?" he hazarded dubiously.  
  
"He said put the seed in the egg to fertilize it," Ururu objected.  
  
They thought about it for a minute, Jinta recommended hardboiling it and then peelling off the outside, but Ururu argued that it'd probably kill the baby.  
  
"We'll just make a little hole in the top," Jinta finally decided.  
  
It took them a few tries, the eggs kept cracking open all the way and dribbling all over the floor with a yolky mess. Finally they got one to stay mostly whole. Jinta then bit into the watermellon and separated out a mouthfull of seeds to spit into the egg.  
  
"Do you think that's enough?" Ururu wondered as they bent thier heads together to make sure all of the seeds had made it inside of the egg.  
  
"It should be," Jinta said, nodding in a satisfied manner.  
  
"Now what?" she asked.  
  
"Put your egg in the pot with the fertilizer, I guess," Jinta replied.  
  
The instructions they'd been given hadn't exactly been clear on this point, but this explanantion seemed to make more sense than some of the other ones. Jinta and Ururu had both looked around for storks and had _nearly_ caught an egret in the park pond after an hour of chasing ducks and geese. When there were no further long-legged avians to be found, they had given the idea up as a botch job. The trip to the local market to investigate the cabbage angle had yeilded similar fruitless results.  
  
"Are you s-"  
  
"He said that's where babies come from! Now plant yer stupid egg! Jeeze!" Jinta blustered, mainly because he didn't really know either.  
  
The two children lovingly planted their egg in the fertilizer (for thier instructions had been clear that it had to be planted with love) and covered it up with more fertilizer just to be sure. They waited, watching it carefully for any signs of a baby growing out of it. An hour later they were still waiting.  
  
"What in the world are you two doing?" Yoruichi, in cat form, asked as she entered the residential area of the shop through the nearby window and padded into the room to see the two normally active children away from thier work. Jinta was playing vidoe games on the tv nearby while Ururu watched a flowerpot like a depressed-looking hawk.  
  
"Is it ready yet?" Jinta asked running over from his video game.  
  
"No, not yet," ururu said dispirtedly.  
  
"Oh... jeeze, how long's this gonna take?" he grumbled.  
  
"How long is what going to take?" Yoruichi asked, now thoroughly curious.  
  
"Jinta and I made a baby," Ururu replied matter-of-factly. "We're just waiting for it to grow."  
  
"I- You... _what_?" the cat demanded, sounding aghast for perhaps the first time they had ever known her.  
  
Jinta went back to his game while Ururu patiently explained to Yoruichi about Jinta's brilliant plan involving live offspring to show up the reigning neighborhood princess and the various quests that did not pan out like they had thought they would. Throughout Ururu's patient narration Yoruichi had seemed to frequently need to rid herself of a hairball but insisted every time that she was perfectly fine.  
  
"Yoruichi-san, do you know how long it takes for babies to grow?" Ururu asked innocently. "I want to know if it's safe to leave the pot alone or not, maybe I should take it into my room with me..."  
  
The cat made yet another strangled noise and choked out something about going to see Kisuke.  
  
Later that night, with the two disappointed parents were tucked away safely in thier beds, Kisuke Urahara and Yoruichi Shihouin sat at the low dining table with the flowerpot between them still trying to smother thier laughter.  
  
"You know," the cat said between giggles. "They're going to be terribly disappointed when, nine months from now, there's no baby."  
  
"hmmm..." Kisuke said, eying the flowerpot speculatively.  
  
"Don't even think about it," Yoruichi replied.


End file.
